Lesson #1: You don’t know yourself as well as you think you do.

Freelancing taught me a lot about running a business, but even more about myself. Turns out, I was completely wrong about who I thought I was—and that changed everything.

Before I went freelance I LOVED the idea of solo working.

A self-proclaimed hermit, the thought of working from home for the majority of my week sounded delightful. Plus, I was coming off the back of a very bad experience in a SaaS Start Up which left me feeling burnt out and sick to death of micromanagement and feeling watched constantly.

So, I pictured days filled with meetings with Juno (my cat) curled up on my lap, a nice pot of tea steaming away next to me. Bliss.

100% an Expectation vs reality moment.

Cute cat sat on my lap? No. Mischievous cat, sat across my keyboard.

After 6 months, I was sick of tea, the cats were sick of me and I was going a touch stir crazy.

I tried co-working spaces, cafes, meeting up with other freelancers but, I found I actually missed working in a team, having colleagues to bounce ideas off of and even the nonsensical small talk of the office. Trust me, no-one was more surprised than me.

I thought I knew myself better than anyone. I thought I was the textbook definition of introverted hermit.

It’s only now, however many months later and a whole lot of life changes that I have to confess that I, Eve Davitt, am in fact, an extrovert. Through and through. I thrive off social events, I leave parties, pub nights and even meetings feeling buzzed and ready to conquer anything.

Doesn’t sound very introverted, does it?

Turns out, there’s a LOT of similarities between being a naturally introverted person, and being a person with unmanaged ADHD who’s constantly in a loop of overstimulation. The latter? Very much me.

Another lightning bolt moment in my “Oh, I don’t know myself like I thought I did” journey came pretty early, I got my diagnosis for Inattentive ADHD and all those unanswered questions I had finally seemed to have an answer. My brain wasn’t broken, or stupid or even wrong, it just didn’t work in the same way as others.

Now that I know myself and my brain better, I realise it wasn’t the conversation that drained me, rather the bright lights and loud noises.

I can’t claim at all that I manage it better. There are still times I’ll leave places and feel knackered.

But now I know why and don’t pass up on social events thinking I need a night in in front of the TV, instead, I find ways to make them more manageable, even if that’s just taking 5 minutes to hide in the loos or smoking area (even as a non smoker) for a break from the noise - I know. Sounds a bit mad. But you’re here, reading my confessional.

Now, returning to freelancing, I know that face-to-face connection with my clients will be crucial. I want to be in a workplace, chatting all things marketing and making it happen while also getting the chance to get to know my clients more.

Going freelance forced me to spend a lot of time alone and I definitely didn’t know myself as well as I thought I did.

Lesson #1, done. Here’s what I’d advise so you can avoid the same mistakes as me:

Be open to experimenting

Don’t keep working in the same way if you’re feeling like it’s not getting you anywhere. Chances are, it’s not you, it’s the set up. If working from home is boring you to tears, try a local coworking space, if you’re feeling isolated, try to find a local co-working group to do regular sessions with (or start your own!) - I wish I had done more of this instead of forcing myself to stay at home 4 out of 5 days of the week.

(Suck it up and) listen to your friends and family

My mum gave me a word of warning when she heard I was going freelance.

“I just worry you’ll be isolated all the time Eve” and as a typical stubborn daughter, I brushed it off. I knew myself better. Working from home was going to be A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!

She was right. Turns out the woman who birthed, raised and loved me for 28+ years did actually know me rather well. Maybe if I’d have put my big fat ego to one side for a moment, I’d have set up some better routines to make sure I wasn’t working alone.

If someone close to you mentions something they’re concerned about with regards to you freelancing, don’t discard it straight away.

Don’t be afraid to move the goalposts

When I started freelancing, I thought I’d feel successful with money in the bank, working on my own terms, living my independent work from home dream. Don’t get me wrong, a lot of that is still true, but now other things matter too.

The stability of a part time role I enjoy, a good social circle of colleagues and freelance friends. They’ve all become crucial in the eco-system I need to make freelancing fun and sustainable.

It took me a long time to let go of that preconceived idea of success and even longer to not feel like I’d failed at freelancing (despite what all my marketing may say!) but now that I have, it feels like the choices for what I do next are endless.

In conclusion…freelancing has been a bit of a wild ride—not just figuring out how to run a business, but figuring out how to actually live in a way that works for me long term. Turns out, success isn’t this neat little box you tick off. It’s messy, ever-changing, and totally personal.

If you’re just starting out as a freelancer or feel like you’re grinding to a halt with it, take it from me: it’s okay to change your mind, reconsider the plan, and listen to the people who know you best. Your version of success doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s—or even like the one you imagined for yourself when you started out.

It’s just another one of the gifts that freelancing will chuck at you, they come in abundance!

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