Lesson #2: The Best Laid Plans Are Like A Noose
I’m not sure I’ll ever return to a 5-day-a-week, 9-5 job. But I’m also not sure I won’t. If this past year has taught me anything, it’s that sometimes, you don’t know what you need until you’re right in the middle of realizing what you don’t.
Not long ago, I was grinding away at a tech startup, stuck in the typical 9-5 routine. All I could dream of was the freedom that came with being a full-time freelancer. The idea of setting my own hours, making my own decisions—it felt like the ultimate freedom, the perfect antidote to corporate life, and a good match for my ADHD brain. But when I actually made the leap and started building my freelance business, I found myself craving something I hadn’t expected: the structure of a 9-5, the social interactions of an office, and, of course, that steady paycheck.
Now, I’ve settled into a balance—a mix of both.
I’ve got the flexibility that freelancing offers, paired with the stability of regular pay and enough social interaction to keep me from going stir-crazy. But, I’m not naive enough to claim that this is the ultimate solution. In a year, I might be back as a full-time freelancer, or I might dive into a full-time in-house role. Who knows, one day I might even hang up my marketing hat for good and open a flower shop.
This shift in my career path has been another hard-learned lesson on my freelance journey—and it’s one of the biggest mistakes I made.
I had such a clear, detailed vision (some may say tunnel vision) of what my freelance life would look like that when it didn’t pan out the way I imagined, it sent me into a spiral. Last year, I spent so much time feeling anxious about the direction my life was headed. It wasn’t just the ups and downs of freelancing (though that was a big chunk of the pie chart), but also a relationship breakup, a new ADHD diagnosis, and the toll of spending more time on my own than was healthy for me.
The big 3-0 was creeping up on me, and all those plans I had as an 8, 12, 15 year old —plans that I was so sure would happen—never did.
I didn’t get married at 21 to Jay from The Wanted*. I didn’t pop out four kids (two sets of twins, FYI). And I certainly didn’t become a famous artist. But what I’ve realized over the last year is that just because those things didn’t happen on the timeline I expected, doesn’t mean they’re never going to.
I can still become an artist. I could still have two sets of twins (though I’m a lot less keen on that idea now). And, hey, I could still marry Jay—if I weren’t already happily taken, that is.
It wasn’t until I let go of these rigid expectations that I truly realized something crucial: It doesn’t matter.
It’s healthy to have an idea of where you want to go, and the things you’d love to achieve. But holding onto those expectations too tightly, using them as a weight around your neck, only hinders you. They’re like cement boots you force on yourself as you try to dive headfirst through life.
Since letting go of that pressure, I’ve embraced the uncertainty. And you know what? It’s been a game-changer. I’ve stopped chastising myself for not having it all figured out—why I’m doing what I’m doing, how I’m doing it, or even where I’m going. Now that I’m free from those expectations, I feel lighter.
From that newfound freedom has come an abundance of creativity and optimism. And let me tell you, it’s much better on this side of things.
So, the lessons I’m still learning—and the ones I hope you take away from this:
Be open to things changing.
Let go of rigid expectations.
You never know what opportunities might come your way when you stop clinging to a pre-determined path.
Let life surprise you—it’s going to anyway, might as well embrace it.
*TW4Eva - Love u Jay